


Trust me. Kiss me.

by Wolfs_Ayame



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Eiji is a mood, Just let them touch 2k18, Kissing, M/M, Modern Day, Mutual Pining, Some slight manga spoilers, ash lynx is a mood, t for ash’s mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-16
Updated: 2018-08-16
Packaged: 2019-06-28 09:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15704382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfs_Ayame/pseuds/Wolfs_Ayame
Summary: Ash has spent years building up walls to protect himself, but now he is struggling to keep Eiji out.





	Trust me. Kiss me.

Ash knew he was in trouble from that first twist of tongue at the prison, even if it was a means to an end. Something made his gut jump and his heart thud, though he tried to play it off with a squeeze to Eiji’s (-quite pleasant-) ass. That single moment had made him see something in the other man that he wasn’t prepared for, and still was not ready to fucking deal with. Eiji trusted him completely, expected nothing in return; in other words, devotion. Eiji wanted to be there, he needed to be there with Ash without reason.

 

And now, Ash had a problem. Each touch, every simple kiss, felt like a warm and new blanket wrapping around him to shield him for the shit and hell of the outside world. A blanket only big enough for himself, and Eiji.

 

The simple moments they shared, the ones away from all the other people in his life, were his favorite, and honestly he wished they could just disappear into their own simple world. A world that he didn’t have to fight, one where the simple press of lips was enough to keep the pain of the world away.

 

There were times when it was so perfect though, so sweet. Sometimes it was a simple kiss to the temple as Eiji walked by Ash with a cup of tea, or a surprise peck on the cheek as a silent thank you to Eiji for doing the dishes, and not trying to kill him with natto.

 

It was soft, and it made Ash’s heart dance behind his ribs as that familiar warmth enveloped him. Even as welcome and wanted as these innocent kisses were, there seemed to always be an edge when they became more than just habit of domesticity. Sometimes, when Ash would bring their lips together, giving Eiji’s a flick of tongue across the seam of his mouth, it would cause an eruption of sparks up and down Ash’s spine. 

 

Fuck. He couldn’t do this, and would unwillingly break the kiss. For a man who was not afraid of taking on a mafia don, wanting Eiji like that scared him to no ends. He wanted that, he wanted to feel Eiji against him, what it would be like to let his walls crumble and let Eiji all the way in to his heart. Fear was keeping him shackled in place; the chance that he could lose Eiji made his heart want to shatter in to a million shards.

 

Since the first time they had shared more than a gentle peck on the lips, it felt like they were on the edge of something more, and it was up to Ash to decide if he could go there. He felt the calmness that was Eiji, the way his arms would wrap around him in the most intimate of hugs; the kind of hugs that would just make it all disappear. His simple presence brought Ash something that he never thought he would experience in this fucking mess of his life: serenity.

 

Peace.

 

Like tonight. Here they sat together, with Ash’s back pressed against the arm of the couch, his hand gently playing in Eiji’s dark hair absentmindedly. They were alone with a bland attempt at a horror flick drawling on in the background on netflix, but neither of them were really paying much attention to the blood bath on screen. It was almost sickeningly domestic. God knows that if any of the gang saw this picture of fucking domestic mush Ash would never hear the end of it. 

 

Ash knew he was fucked. He could sense that their relationship was teetering on the edge of falling into a place he wasn’t sure if he could go; Ash knew Eiji was his weakness, and he knew the risks; the risks of what could happen if he let his walls down to let Eiji all the way in. Should he let the final bricks crumble and be able to truly act on his feelings or should he pick them up and force him out? 

 

Ash was fucking torn. 

 

The way Eiji was rested against him, if he craned his neck just right, he would be able to press his nose right against Ash’s throat, and be tucked against him like he was a precious treasure. Honestly, to Ash, Eiji was a precious treasure. He asked for nothing of Ash in return, not money, nor power, and most importantly, not a piece of his body. If Ash could actually say the words out loud, he would say he loved him for it.

 

A soft laugh escaped Ash’s lips; Eiji was almost purring like a cat as his mop of dark hair was toyed with. The look on his face made Ash’s heart clench, truly, he was beautiful. With his dark eyes half closed and body completely relaxed against him, Ash found it hard to look anywhere else but at the other man and gently wrapped his free arm around Eiji’s middle over the blanket. 

 

The innocence that had been laid bare before him made him feel an ache deep in his chest. Could he place Eiji in even more danger than he was already in? Ash didn’t question that Eiji unconditionally cared for him, but what he did question was if he was being selfish. Ash was danger, blood and fear, so would this man give himself over to him in such a fierce, unselfish, way? He wanted to keep Eiji at his side, forever, and not just for now, but for eternity, but would it be fair to ask that of him?

 

Eiji must have noticed the sudden tension in Ash’s body as he got lost to the thoughts brawling about in the confines of his brain, and had laced his fingers in the hand that was loosely looped around his middle. Gentle pressure of his thumb rubbing over the bumps of Ash’s knuckles, sent small crackles of warmth over his skin, and he succumbed to the sensation by gently pressing his cheek against the top of Eiji’s head with a sigh.

 

Ash tightened his arm around Eiji’s middle and felt him sigh deeply before he murmured, “Your thinking is loud.”

 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ash laughed. 

 

Eiji turned slightly, adjusting himself so his dark eyes met with Ash’s, “It means, you are not relaxing and its interrupting our movie.” 

 

“You are actually watching this?” Ash asked with a quirk of his brow. 

When Eiji started to turn pink at the cheeks Ash couldn’t hold back the snort of laughter before he leaned in to press his forehead against Eiji’s and let out a soft sigh, the tension leaving his body as he closed his eyes. He felt Eiji lift his hand to cup Ash’s face, his thumb softly stroking crest of his cheekbone. Warmth spread across him from the gentle touch, his body relaxing and pressing his face further in to Eiji’s palm, he needed the touch, the contact between them was something he craved, especially in these moments. 

 

“Ash, talk to me,” Eiji whispered, “keeping the words back will only bring more tension.”

 

Ash hummed softly. God the things he wanted to say, the words that jumbled in his brain needed to come out, but he wasn’t sure how to put them together. He was so afraid to speak them, so afraid that if he let his wall crumble down, that it could mean the end of this beautiful person in his arms. His heart battled with his mind, he fought with himself internally. Could he really do this? Was this really fair to either of them?

 

His eyes were tightly shut, and it didn’t didn’t register that Eiji had moved till he felt the warm brush of slightly chapped lips against his own. It was a delicate kiss, one that brought a soothing balm over his torn soul as he gently returned it with another before Eiji gently brushed his nose against Ash’s. 

 

“I’m scared.” He whispered, barely audible if it wasn’t for their closeness, he honestly wasn’t even sure if he said it out loud. 

 

“Of what?” Eiji gently prodded, his hand still cradling Ash’s face softly. 

 

Ash took a deep, yet shaky breath. His heart was in his throat, and he was sure Eiji could hear each beat, it thundered in his ears as he felt the last few bricks of his walls falling down around him. 

 

“I’m scared that I am being selfish with you. That I am putting you in further danger by letting myself have you. I need you Eiji, I need you beside me, and I am so afraid that I will only get you hurt if I let myself have this.” 

 

“Do I not have any say in this?” Eiji asked softly, Ash could feel the warm tickle of his breath across his own lips as Eiji continued, “I’m not scared.”

 

Eiji closed the short distance between them, and Ash felt his world light up as their lips met again. This time there was something different, there was more behind this kiss than any other kiss before it. It was so goddamn cliche, but it felt like fireworks, not the loud booming kind like a gun, but the soft crackle and pops that dazzled the night sky. 

 

Eiji’s hand had let go of Ash’s and fisted in his shirt, drawing Ash impossibly closer to him, or perhaps to ground himself as he leaned in to Ash for support.  

 

It surprised Ash when Eiji parted his mouth to deepen the kiss with a flick of his tongue across the seam of Ash’s lips. Instead of pulling away this time, he opened up, and Ash felt suddenly lighter. It was sweet, there was no hidden agenda, no lusting desire, it was just pure, and beautiful, and perfect. The light dance of tongue was gentle and unpossessive, so much so that it made Ash feel like his ribcage was too small for his heart. This feeling, this rush of emotion crashed over him like a tsunami, bathing him in unfamiliar yes warm calm.

 

It felt like drowning. And Ash didn’t care. He poured his heart into the kiss, everything he had been holding back, all the fear and all the hope; he didn’t just want this, he needed it. 

 

When the kiss broke, their foreheads still pressed together and panting for breath, Ash felt moisture dripping down his face. 

 

“You are crying?” Eiji whispered, “Was I that bad?” 

 

He had not realized when the tears had started, or even why, but the almost horrified look on Eiji’s face made him toss his head back laughing. Eiji was even more confused, his head cocked to the side like a puppy in question, those large brown eyes blinking wide. 

 

Ash pulled his hands free and used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe away the tears on his face before he cupped Eiji’s face. 

 

“No. No Eij. That…” He paused, his eyes searching Eiji’s for a moment before he gave him a genuine smile, “That was the best kiss I have ever experienced.” The words he really wanted to say, that it spread a warm balm over his broken soul, or that the sweetness of it made his heart ache for more, didn’t need to be vocalized. The look in his eyes was reflected back from Eiji’s, and all they could do was smile like idiots at each other. 

 

Eiji lifted his hands and covered Ash’s, linking their fingers together before Ash brought their lips together again, tender and gentle, and let the warmth cocoon around them. 

 

“You are going to be the death of me.” Ash whispered over Eiji’s lips before Ash pulled him on top of himself, their kisses and sweet words drowning out the sounds of gunshots and screams on the TV. 

  
  



End file.
